High WASTED?

Ok. I was inspired to do this blog from my fave fashionista of the moment Miss.Hollz.

She left a cmnt on my last post saying high waisted is in and I so agree with her on that, but should it be in? I mean there have been MAJOR, and I mean M.A.J.O.R fashion faux pas with this trend in particular, a la Jessica Simpson..{this picture isn't for those with weak stomachs}



..tragic.

And also poor Mischa Barton, the usual fashion icon made a collossol mistake..

poor, poor girl.

As stated above [in words and images -horrific-] this trend obviously does NOT work for everyone. I would keep this trend for those withouttttt cameltoes!
{or muffin tops, these trousers will NOT, I repeat WILL NOT suck that fat in girls, the only thing for those are bustiers and waist belts, and as I have previously stated, waist belts=death. So I think it's time to book an appointment with your local cosmetic surgeon}

But there is hope. There is! The High Waisted trend does work for some. HELLO Kelis like had the high waist thing going on BEFORE it hit the pages of Grazia.

She sported the babies in her "Bossy" video, hell yeah bitches, Kelis is fashion icon in the making, she just needs to be discovered {trust me}.

So that concludes my very vague post. {loving the alliteration}
Before making any rash decision and going out to buy these jeans {or shorts, or even skirts-{{wouldnt even go ther}}-} make sure they are a nice fit and don't expose your cameltoe or muffin top or fat or make you look like you have that awful pregnant look that those old ladies have [I wretch at the thought].

Hope you loved it, I did.

-Jordan xox

Fashion Faux Pas

Ok hunnies I have compiled a list of my Top 5 pet hates for this seaosn, {which I do absoloutely HATE} & then provided an alternative to its pre-decessor.

1} HATE.Footless Tights.
I hate the things. They are just OVER. O.V.E.R! What I really hate is when I see poor girls withe the Top/Dress and the awful footless tights and ballet pumps. It was OK for last season {possibly the season before} but please ladies BURN THE THINGS! A wonderful alternative would be these.
LOVE.
See! They are gorgeous! So preppy! Wear these. Knee high socks are IN IN IN! Pair the gorgeous socks with some Miu Miu Mary Jane's
{pictured below}


2}HATE Waist Belts.
Somebody get me a bucket. This clever invention was designed for fat chubby people. You were supposed to wear them around your waist to suck in all of those Krispy Kremes. I hate them. Burn them. Burn them and BURY THEM! It's not even as if they are a simplistic nice belt to wear around the waist, but a FAT ASS BELT {usually coming in patent leathers, black or white or sometimes a hideous neon orange}. Like I said, burn them.
LOVE. Hip Belt.
As usual, The Moss had to come and save us fashionisto/a's out of our misery and bring back the regular waist belt. A thin, leather [maybe patent, maybe] belt would go gorgeously with a sack dress {grey of course}, some laced tights and Jazz pumps {or Mary Janes}







3}HATE Platform Heels.

I am sick of seeing these on girls. The patent platform shoe with the wooden heel. I must say I was a MASSIVE fan of these when they came out. Then, well. As they say the rest is history! Add these to your bonfire. Now.
LOVE.

Mary Janes. Brought back by many high end designers i.e Miu Miu, Prada, YSL and copied by {the always reliable} TopShop. These are your solution girlies. Bag a pair of these wonderous kicks for {approx.} £40/£60 at TopShop & Miss Selfridge.

4}HATE.HATE.HATE.Tops With Words On.

O.M.G. If you see someone with one of these hideous rags on, kill them.

Things you should know about these T-Shirts.
1]The are a copy of British designer Henry Holland's "tongue-in-cheek" slogan tees. Like These.
2]They are NOT TONGUE IN CHEEK.
3]Everybody ELSE is wearing them.
4]Therefore everybody else is saying the SAME AS YOU.
5]THEY ARE SHIT.
Love.

Wear one of these Smiley Face T-Shirts with an 80's rope chain to stand out! Nothing like spreading happiness!

5}HATEEEEE.Colour Louis Vuitton bags.

1 Word. WHY?
LOVE.

YSL Downtown bag. Patent is back. This wonder of a bag is stylish and practical, its just the right size and on the borderline between regular/oversize so you've knocked down two bird with one stone. Amazing!

And there we have it people. Fear not! This guide should have you all right for next season! Time to hit Selfridges!

-Jordan xox

Oh Snap!

..Enjoy!

-Jordan xox

My New Room! P.III

OMG, Ok so did some digging through my Vogue collection and found a few issues that had some articles about fashionista/o's that worked from home, and I was soooo inspired! Here a few pics I dug up and scanned from the May issue of Vogue..

Lovin' the whole antique chair and the whole industrial kind of theme she has worked with {hence the metals and wood}, this could possibly be a theme I may steal.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this, this almost makes me want to forget the whole black/white theme and go for a more homely, busy type of one. I'm loving the whole collection of fashion articles/advertisments etc he has on the bulletin board style thing. Loving the clash of colours and collection of books {even though I dont read, I can still fill those shelves with my collection of Vogue magazine!} ahh, I can see it now. I adore it!

I don't really love the whole black/white thing anymore, I'm feeling really inspired by that man's room {he is a fashion stylist btw} so yeah, I think I may take it down a completely different route now, hmm. I'll keep you [and try and keep myself] updated.
Too much inspiration right now! lol

-Jordan xox

My New Room! P.II

Ok, so I have the basic idea for the room, but here are some ideas for the accessories.

I was thinking something like this for a bedside table {black of course}

Adorrinngg these simplistic cushions!

Love Love LOVING this as a desk!


I'm frantically looking around interior design blogs..so brb

-Jordan xox

My New Room!

YAYAYAYAYAY
I am excited kittens! We are getting a conversion on our house! Well, I knew this was happening since like, February, but it took forevz to find some decent builders {who wouldn't f*** up our house, or steal our shizz!}. But at long last we have builders, and the work should start when my mum gets back from Dom{inica}, which is like in 1 WEEK! AHH :D. Ok so basically just to let you know, my room right now, isn't even a room. Lets call it a BOX! It is literally like living in a cardboard box and I frikkin HATE IT! ARGH! But now, after about 9 years of living in "The Box", I AM GETTING A NEW ROOM! YAYNESS!

So seen as work is starting in like, 1/2 weeks, I thought I would get my inner Interior Designer on and start designing ideas for my new room!

As for colour, I was thinking maybe really gothic palettes like Black&White, or Black&Gray, something dark and mysterious along those lines. I want a huge picture of someone like CoCo Chanel, or Audrey Hepburn.

I'm lovingggg this for a bedroom design, but it's not going to happen..

..I am dream.

Or how about something more realistic like this..

..WITHOUT the awful colours palette, imagine the walls a shiny black, or maybe something metallic, replace that hideous piece of art above the bead with a black and white picture of CoCo Chanel, take away the clock and that random thing above the bed to the left. Get rid of the rug, replace that awful jungle plant with a nice one with a black cirle vase and change the colour of the curtains to black and voila. Loving the bed but replace the sheets with plain black ones.
Just one of my ideas. Haha.

Well thats it for now dahlings .. I'll keep you posted on more ideas, and give you pics of the final product.

Ciao for now bitches,
-Jordan xox

Hey Grandma!

I..Love..This.

All my bitches out there better be ready to skip a couple years decades to prepare for this new trend.

Its GRANDMA CHIC! Thats right ho's, the latest trend to be re-lived is granny chic. So get ready to raid your grandma's wardrobe to un-vail those dusty 1930 pieces that just need to be revived!

Click Here to see what I am on about!

-Jordan xox

BETTY IS COMING BACK!

AHHHH!
I cannot contain my excitement right now bitches.
O.M.G
Ugly Betty {my fave show of all time} is COMING BACK for ANOTHER SEASON {season 2} on September 27th! {in the USA}

I know what your thinking...

"but how are you going to watch it when it is airing in the USA?"

I have my sources. I done it the whole last season. {I was 4 episodes in front of the UK, when I say I'm exclusive, I mean it -hehe-}

I.AM.EXCITED!

-Jordan xox

I Love Me Some Olsen

Mary Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen.
What a pair of un-stoppable bitches. They have been working since they came out of their mothers coochy and they are still going strong.

Ok so Mary Kate had that whole ana moment .. and she was rumoured to be a coke-whore. But GUESS WHAT, shes still in the public eye. Can't knock her! Here is a segment from a recent interview with Marie Claire {USA}

"-Ashley on life with in the media: “I live a very normal life — I have friends; I’ve always gone to school. The part that’s not normal is that I’ve been working since I was 9 months old, but at the same time, it’s completely normal to me. I used to struggle with it more because I used to take things more personally. When I was kind of 16 to 18, I couldn’t get out of the weeklies. When I came to [NYU], it was really tough for the first couple of months because I couldn’t show up to some classes, because there’d be paparazzi outside.”

-Ashley on how Mary-Kate’s eating disorder was depicted in the press: “That situation was more about how destructive the media can be to a person emotionally, to their identity, their public persona. It’s really sick. Their love lives have been a public parlor game.”

-Ashley on being a twin: “I know when she’s hurting, I know when she’s going through something, I know when she’s happy — whether I”m with her or not, I know. We both carry the weight of each other. When she’s doing really well, maybe I’m not doing so well. It’s weird that we’re never at the same place — we just kind of balance each other out.”

And they're style is INCREDS! I mean look at these girlie bags.


That's Ashley, loving the prada clutch and the Louboutin heels girl!



{thats M.K} Love love LOVE the Prada fringe bag, these chicks love their black, slimming {even though they don't need it they are totally ana! skinny bitches}. I'm not 100% sure but I am guessing those are Louboutin heels .. SLINGBACK PEEP-TOE I adoreeee it.

One things fo' sho'. If I was a girl these bitches would so be my fashion icons!

-Jordan xox

Marc Hated Himself

Am I late? Marc Jacobs used to hate himself.

Heres a quote from his interview with Out Magazine bitches.
"…I used to really hate seeing my own reflection in the mirror, and I’m not talking about in a drug- or alcohol-induced state—I mean in general. I just hid behind clothes, and I didn’t really care about what I wore, and I didn’t care about my skin or my hair—I just felt like, There’s nothing more I can do to look more attractive…what’s the point? and believing that, I just avoided having my picture taken."

Hairspray

I saw it in the cinema again today.
I am obsessed.

Aswell as the adorable songs, and well, Zac Efron. I just LOVE LOVE LOVE the clothes! It's amazing! I am now obsessed with the 60's fashion {Jackie O, Jackie O, Jackie O}, the clothes truly are amazing, here are some of them.


Amanda Bynes - I adore the green, so retro. The buttons and their spacing is just amazing.


Why do I love this?
1}Zac Efron is in it. 2}His suit is amaing. The off-navy blue is just fabulous and the minimal 3 buttons is so 60's.


1 word. Adorable. So cute. I like the way all of the dresses are almost like cocktails and I must say the patterns on all of the dresses make me want to have a drag queen moment! Plus that baby blue cardigan she had draped over her shoulders is just majorly adorable!


That.Dress.Is.Major. I just love the pattern. The colours are such a clash but I adore it! And the cut of it is just absoloutely fabulous. Loving the neckline.

Well dahlings I hope I have drawn you into the 60's fashion. It truly is amazing!

-Jordan xox

Mariah Smells.

{image from perezhilton.com - the editing is from him}


OMG! The diva is coming out with a fragrance.
Now we can all smell like her.
Great.

I want a whiff!

OH YEAH before I forget, today is my MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY! YAY HER! Sadly she is in Dominica so yeah. sad face. HAPPY B'DAY MUMMY =}

-Jordan xox

Dayy-Umm!

Wow at this bitch.

She was 12 when she performed this song.

She is now 14.



And you though Biana Ryan was amazing? Pfft.

-Jordan xox

MY first dress!

Hey bitches.

Guess What.

I made a dress.

{but wait}

Out of PLASTIC BAGS.

Thats right. Forget the "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" bag by Anya Hindmarch, it's all about the TESCO Dress now! {just joking guys, I got bored so I thought I would get creative}, it's made for childrens size 6, so if you have a Dita Von Teese style waist, then maybe you will be able to shrink into it. Start starving yourself girls. {once again, joke}
Here are some pictures.


Full View


Top Half



Bottom Half

So there it is kittens! The TESCO Dress. One of a kind! It looks better in real life {Im not just saying that}.

-Jordan xox

Primary School

It's the latest trend to hit the Fashionista/o's out there!

I adore the pieces, the simplicity of most of the pieces adds a real elegance to them! Check out the pieces from Botegga Veneta, Sonia Rykel, SmithSpence, Paul Smith - {these are my faves}


Botegga Veneta

Paul Smith

SmithSpence

Sonia Rykel

Hope you loved them! I sure do! Fabulous! {do you love my embellished usage of exclamation marks? hehe}

-Jordan xox

My Dictionary

Here I have compiled a short dictionary of words I use in life and may also use frequently in this blog! Just so you don't think I have gone mad{der}.


Ana: {adjective} abbreviation for the word anorexic.{e.g.} "OMG Nicole Richie-Rich is looking overly ana!"

Buli: {adjective} abbreviation for the word bulimic or bulimia. {e.g.} "Why are you making yourself sick, are you buli?"

Beyond: {adverb & preposition} can be used in it's original, proper usage. Alternatively, just use it for fun! {e.g.} "OMG that dress is BEYOND", or, "Mariah C is sooo beyond!"

Defo: {adverb} abbrev. for the word definitely. May be used out of context just for giggles! {e.g}
{person 1}"Omg I am sooo wearing my new outfit to the party!"
{person 2}"Defo!"

Shup!: {?} ???? a compilation of the words "Shut" and "Up", just because I talk fast {e.g.} "I have the new Chanel cotoure!"
"SHUP!"



That's it for now guyzies, if I am inspired by some/anything I shall add to the dictionary!

-Jordan xox

Move over Kate

That girl is one lucky bitch. She got discovered at a frikkin restuarant by actress Liv Tyler .. {the following is courtesy of www.vogue.com}

"RUSSIAN model Irina Kulikova was tipped for stardom from the moment she was spotted. "I was discovered in restaurant in Moscow last summer," she explains. "I was having dinner with my mum but the famous actress, Liv Tyler, just came up to me and said, 'Hey! Are you a model?'" With a start like that, it's little wonder Irina K (as she's known in the industry), is currently leading the catwalk line up: She opened the autumn/winter 2007-8 Prada show and is currently the star of its campaign, as well as those of Jil Sander and Pringle of Scotland. With her long-limbed, feline grace, Irina embodies fashion's "new look" - youthful, groomed and healthy. "Fashion is heralding the return of the 'woman'," agrees Storm Models founder Sarah Doukas. "The waif is no longer in vogue." From Canadian beauty Coco Rocha, who has Irish-danced down Jean-Paul Gaultier's catwalk, to the Twiggy-like 19-year-old Kasia Struss, all the hottest new faces on the fashion radar are profiled in September edition of Vogue, which hits the shops today."

Goodbye's, Makeover's & VOGUE

Hello Kittens :(

Today was so emotional, my Mum went to Dominica {where my family originate from, small Caribbean island near St.Lucia} for 2 weeks without the rest of us {BIIIITCH -- joke}, it wasn't her fault. My aunty booked last minute tickets and sprung it on my mum that she booked her a ticket, my mum was anticipating whether or not to go but she decided to in the end {I wanted her to, she deserves a break}.

Anyway so we all woke up at like 7:30 and travelled to Gatwick, saying goodbye is so hard, I know I'm going to see her again, but my little sister {7 years old} hasn't ever been away from my Mum for that long, so she started crying like mad and that set my Mum off then my other sister {17} and I did feel my eyes welling up, but didn't cry. It really was sad! My sister {the 7 year old one} cried for the majority of the way back but she's fine now. Saying goodbye really is hard! The worst! But hey absence makes the heart grow fonder! Its true!

Anyway I decided to make over my little sister .. here is a picture {LOL}



She really didn't know I was taking the picture lol .. do you love the Madonna beauty spot I gave her? She is such a doll, anyway BACK TO ME!

I bought the september issue of Vogue today!



YAY, for those of you who AREN'T aware [pfft] the September issue is the most IMPORTANT of the whole year! I adore the issue haven't read all of it yet as it is like 103745282484637 pages! Seriously .. as thick as like Harry Potter or something! Lol .. I shall do some scans and show you what is inside, what I like and what I am not to keen on [such as this whole puff jacket trend going on..one word - TRAGIC!] .. but for now dahlings, it's au revoir!

Signing Off
-Jordan xox

"That's So Gay"

When people say "thats so gay", hit them for me. GAY is not a word to be used in a negative way. Watch the video for me. {btw that is NOT me in the video it is Chris Crocker}

When people say "That's so gay.."

It's A Beautiful dayy-ay-ay

Hey sexies

I have just returned from a joyous sleepover and am feeling rather exhausted! -no not for those reasons- but because the weather is so hot and I'm sure I have sun stroke, it's the worst. I feel like I want to sleep for hours on end, but oh well whatever. Hmm I'm a bit confused .. are drunken words really sober thoughts as everyone says? I think there may be some truth in drunken words, but we [people] do exxagerate when we are tipsy/drunk, especially since I am a dramatic person and I exxagerate nearly all the time [emphasis on nearly people] I would obviously exxagerate even MORE when I am tipsy/drunk. Anyway whatever I don't care, I say what I say and I will suffer the consequences at a later date, live in the present! [lol sylvia's lot].

Signing off,

-Jordan xox

Fash For BOYS

I'm baaaccck!

I just couldn't resist doing another post! hehe .. anywho kittens I thought I would blog about high street chains doing fashion for boys. So there I was yesterday strutting along Oxford Street scouring the shops for a possible new hot spot. And to my amazement [hemhem] I discovered the only real retailer that provided a wide range of clothing for us stylish teenage boys, was Topman. There shop is great, especially the flagship on Oxford Street. The only problem is I am quite a fussy bitch. I don't want clothes that every other trendy teen boy will be wearing, I dont want to have to walk along the street and see 1638496528347363 other boys wearing the exact same tee, waistcoat, jeans [skinny, no doubt] or shoes as me.
You see darling I am one of those bitches who prides himself on his exclsuiveness [didn't you know I make my own words up? Add THAT to your dictionary], I pride myself on being UNIQUE. However spanners are thrown into the works when I see other people wearing the same outfit, top whatever you want, as me. Bleh. I don't love that. I may have to wean myself away from Oxford Street soon, it's getting so tired. I'm thinking like, markets, I have been to Portobello Market [and the Ladbroke Grove end of that is a MUST SEE for all my up and coming fashionisto/a's out there! AMAZING designers down there] it really is great, lots of vintage down there, FOR WOMEN! ARGHHHHHH I wanna scream, I am actually contemplating making my own clothes I am that desperado! SAVE ME! If anyone knows some hot spots, TELL ME!

-Jordan xox

First Post!

Hello Girls, Boys and Trannies!
How are we dahlings? WOW it's my first post so I guess this is where I introduce myself, I am Jordan The Fashionisto, diva extrodinare with a pash for fash! Along with my admiration for all things fashion, I simple ADORE performing and attent the glorious yet stressful Syvlia Young Theatre School, home of dramatic girls and gays and the few straights who are also probably fags! Jokes babies, jokes! So anywho the summer hols have just started, yayness! But OMG to the weather, soooo not summery I don't love it!
Anywho I have kicked off the summer with lots of outings with some of my favourite people i.e lunchies at Nandoes [or nandyz as I like to call it] or trips to see my favourite eye candy [of the moment] Zac Efron in the glorious production of HAIRSPRAY! [ahh what an epic movie I LOVE IT! {Ohh every afternoon when the clock strikes four -ba dee da ba da ba da ba dee da- A crazy bunch of kids crash through that door yeahh} sorry just a burst of song! So anyway guys I plan to use this blog to document my life as my blog on MySpace contracted a few erm shall we say HATERS. But hey whatever this one is going to be RUTHLESS, I'm taking no prisoners hate it or love it dahlings THATS ME!

Singing off, your new obsession

- Jordan xox