High WASTED?

Ok. I was inspired to do this blog from my fave fashionista of the moment Miss.Hollz.

She left a cmnt on my last post saying high waisted is in and I so agree with her on that, but should it be in? I mean there have been MAJOR, and I mean M.A.J.O.R fashion faux pas with this trend in particular, a la Jessica Simpson..{this picture isn't for those with weak stomachs}



..tragic.

And also poor Mischa Barton, the usual fashion icon made a collossol mistake..

poor, poor girl.

As stated above [in words and images -horrific-] this trend obviously does NOT work for everyone. I would keep this trend for those withouttttt cameltoes!
{or muffin tops, these trousers will NOT, I repeat WILL NOT suck that fat in girls, the only thing for those are bustiers and waist belts, and as I have previously stated, waist belts=death. So I think it's time to book an appointment with your local cosmetic surgeon}

But there is hope. There is! The High Waisted trend does work for some. HELLO Kelis like had the high waist thing going on BEFORE it hit the pages of Grazia.

She sported the babies in her "Bossy" video, hell yeah bitches, Kelis is fashion icon in the making, she just needs to be discovered {trust me}.

So that concludes my very vague post. {loving the alliteration}
Before making any rash decision and going out to buy these jeans {or shorts, or even skirts-{{wouldnt even go ther}}-} make sure they are a nice fit and don't expose your cameltoe or muffin top or fat or make you look like you have that awful pregnant look that those old ladies have [I wretch at the thought].

Hope you loved it, I did.

-Jordan xox

Fashion Faux Pas

Ok hunnies I have compiled a list of my Top 5 pet hates for this seaosn, {which I do absoloutely HATE} & then provided an alternative to its pre-decessor.

1} HATE.Footless Tights.
I hate the things. They are just OVER. O.V.E.R! What I really hate is when I see poor girls withe the Top/Dress and the awful footless tights and ballet pumps. It was OK for last season {possibly the season before} but please ladies BURN THE THINGS! A wonderful alternative would be these.
LOVE.
See! They are gorgeous! So preppy! Wear these. Knee high socks are IN IN IN! Pair the gorgeous socks with some Miu Miu Mary Jane's
{pictured below}


2}HATE Waist Belts.
Somebody get me a bucket. This clever invention was designed for fat chubby people. You were supposed to wear them around your waist to suck in all of those Krispy Kremes. I hate them. Burn them. Burn them and BURY THEM! It's not even as if they are a simplistic nice belt to wear around the waist, but a FAT ASS BELT {usually coming in patent leathers, black or white or sometimes a hideous neon orange}. Like I said, burn them.
LOVE. Hip Belt.
As usual, The Moss had to come and save us fashionisto/a's out of our misery and bring back the regular waist belt. A thin, leather [maybe patent, maybe] belt would go gorgeously with a sack dress {grey of course}, some laced tights and Jazz pumps {or Mary Janes}







3}HATE Platform Heels.

I am sick of seeing these on girls. The patent platform shoe with the wooden heel. I must say I was a MASSIVE fan of these when they came out. Then, well. As they say the rest is history! Add these to your bonfire. Now.
LOVE.

Mary Janes. Brought back by many high end designers i.e Miu Miu, Prada, YSL and copied by {the always reliable} TopShop. These are your solution girlies. Bag a pair of these wonderous kicks for {approx.} £40/£60 at TopShop & Miss Selfridge.

4}HATE.HATE.HATE.Tops With Words On.

O.M.G. If you see someone with one of these hideous rags on, kill them.

Things you should know about these T-Shirts.
1]The are a copy of British designer Henry Holland's "tongue-in-cheek" slogan tees. Like These.
2]They are NOT TONGUE IN CHEEK.
3]Everybody ELSE is wearing them.
4]Therefore everybody else is saying the SAME AS YOU.
5]THEY ARE SHIT.
Love.

Wear one of these Smiley Face T-Shirts with an 80's rope chain to stand out! Nothing like spreading happiness!

5}HATEEEEE.Colour Louis Vuitton bags.

1 Word. WHY?
LOVE.

YSL Downtown bag. Patent is back. This wonder of a bag is stylish and practical, its just the right size and on the borderline between regular/oversize so you've knocked down two bird with one stone. Amazing!

And there we have it people. Fear not! This guide should have you all right for next season! Time to hit Selfridges!

-Jordan xox

Oh Snap!

..Enjoy!

-Jordan xox

My New Room! P.III

OMG, Ok so did some digging through my Vogue collection and found a few issues that had some articles about fashionista/o's that worked from home, and I was soooo inspired! Here a few pics I dug up and scanned from the May issue of Vogue..

Lovin' the whole antique chair and the whole industrial kind of theme she has worked with {hence the metals and wood}, this could possibly be a theme I may steal.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this, this almost makes me want to forget the whole black/white theme and go for a more homely, busy type of one. I'm loving the whole collection of fashion articles/advertisments etc he has on the bulletin board style thing. Loving the clash of colours and collection of books {even though I dont read, I can still fill those shelves with my collection of Vogue magazine!} ahh, I can see it now. I adore it!

I don't really love the whole black/white thing anymore, I'm feeling really inspired by that man's room {he is a fashion stylist btw} so yeah, I think I may take it down a completely different route now, hmm. I'll keep you [and try and keep myself] updated.
Too much inspiration right now! lol

-Jordan xox

My New Room! P.II

Ok, so I have the basic idea for the room, but here are some ideas for the accessories.

I was thinking something like this for a bedside table {black of course}

Adorrinngg these simplistic cushions!

Love Love LOVING this as a desk!


I'm frantically looking around interior design blogs..so brb

-Jordan xox

My New Room!

YAYAYAYAYAY
I am excited kittens! We are getting a conversion on our house! Well, I knew this was happening since like, February, but it took forevz to find some decent builders {who wouldn't f*** up our house, or steal our shizz!}. But at long last we have builders, and the work should start when my mum gets back from Dom{inica}, which is like in 1 WEEK! AHH :D. Ok so basically just to let you know, my room right now, isn't even a room. Lets call it a BOX! It is literally like living in a cardboard box and I frikkin HATE IT! ARGH! But now, after about 9 years of living in "The Box", I AM GETTING A NEW ROOM! YAYNESS!

So seen as work is starting in like, 1/2 weeks, I thought I would get my inner Interior Designer on and start designing ideas for my new room!

As for colour, I was thinking maybe really gothic palettes like Black&White, or Black&Gray, something dark and mysterious along those lines. I want a huge picture of someone like CoCo Chanel, or Audrey Hepburn.

I'm lovingggg this for a bedroom design, but it's not going to happen..

..I am dream.

Or how about something more realistic like this..

..WITHOUT the awful colours palette, imagine the walls a shiny black, or maybe something metallic, replace that hideous piece of art above the bead with a black and white picture of CoCo Chanel, take away the clock and that random thing above the bed to the left. Get rid of the rug, replace that awful jungle plant with a nice one with a black cirle vase and change the colour of the curtains to black and voila. Loving the bed but replace the sheets with plain black ones.
Just one of my ideas. Haha.

Well thats it for now dahlings .. I'll keep you posted on more ideas, and give you pics of the final product.

Ciao for now bitches,
-Jordan xox

Hey Grandma!

I..Love..This.

All my bitches out there better be ready to skip a couple years decades to prepare for this new trend.

Its GRANDMA CHIC! Thats right ho's, the latest trend to be re-lived is granny chic. So get ready to raid your grandma's wardrobe to un-vail those dusty 1930 pieces that just need to be revived!

Click Here to see what I am on about!

-Jordan xox